


patchwork family

by greywardenblue



Category: October Daye Series - Seanan McGuire
Genre: Fictober 2019, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:22:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23170888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greywardenblue/pseuds/greywardenblue
Summary: Toby and her aunt sail home from the Duchy of Ships, and talk of what comes next.
Relationships: October "Toby" Daye & The Luidaeg
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	patchwork family

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts in this work:  
> "I can't come back."  
> "I'm with you, you know that."

“He said you’d never forgive him.”

“Who?”

“Simon. He said my mother might, but you never would.”

The Luidaeg smiled sadly, but didn’t turn her face to look at her. “People do like to underestimate me.”

The crew was getting the ship ready for sailing back home, but the two of them were still standing on the docks, and the Luidaeg didn’t seem eager to leave.

“I think he might be overestimating my mother, too,” Toby said. “Or maybe not. I can’t… I can’t imagine the kind of person she was with August and Simon, but from what I heard, it was very different from the person she was with me.”

The Luidaeg didn’t say anything, just kept staring at the Duchy, or at least what parts of it she could see from here.

“You are kinder than they think,” Toby said quietly.

The Luidaeg laughed. “Don’t go around ruining my reputation now. I still want to be left the fuck alone by most people. It’s enough to have you and your little crew keep showing up on my doorstep every time you need your asses wiped.”

Toby cringed. “Thanks for that mental image.”

“Don’t mention it. That was a freebie.”

“Annie?” a voice called from behind them.

The two of them tensed and turned at the same time. Diva stood behind them, uncertain, like she was ready to run or jump in the water to get away at any second. But she stood there anyway.

“I thought I was clear enough,” the Luidaeg said. She didn’t sound angry - she just sounded tired. “I’m not the Annie you knew.”

“No, you’re not. You’re the sea witch who left the sea.” Diva shook her head quickly, and there were tears in her eyes. “But you didn’t leave. You were still there. You came to visit us, and you were _there_. Will you leave us now? Or will you come back?”

The Luidaeg looked miserable, and Toby wished she’d never have to see that look on her face again. She knew she’d have to see it a lot more times.

“I can’t come back yet,” the Luidaeg said. “Soon, I hope. In seven years, maybe. But not yet.”

Diva stared at them for a moment, then her mother called her name and she turned, hurrying away. The Luidaeg watched her go, and Toby wondered what it would mean for her hydrophobic self if the Luidaeg truly returned to the sea, to live there again. Surely there would still be a way to play chess and eat donuts and feed seagulls together.

Surely she wouldn’t lose a family member again.

The Luidaeg sighed. “We’ll talk about your debt when we get home,” she said. “I would very much like to not hear about it on the journey, if you don’t mind.”

Then the sea witch took her hand in front of everyone around and lead her on the ship. Toby followed, squeezing tight.

\--

“When will you go back to the sea?” Toby asked a week later.

The Luidaeg looked up. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

Toby shook her head. “No, but… when we were in the Duchy of Ships, you said you can’t go back to the sea yet. What does that mean? Are you going to go back and…”

“And what?”

Toby didn’t answer. The Luidaeg sighed and moved to sit on the couch, patting it next to her.

“Alright. Come here and tell me what the problem is.”

Toby sat down next to her, and the Luidaeg thought she looked smaller than usual as she bowed her head. “I don’t want you to leave,” she said quietly. “I barely see Dianda or Patrick, because I can’t handle being in the water, and it’s not like I can just pop over to the Undersea whenever.”

“I imagine you might actually have to learn to solve your own problems. The horror.”

The joke didn’t work - in fact, it seemed to make things worse. Toby raised her chin to look up at her, frowning.

“You know that’s not why I want you here. I don’t come here every week so you can help me or solve problems. You…” Toby shook her head, and the Luidaeg was horrified to realize there were tears in her eyes. She was not equipped to deal with this. “My mother is a horrible person, okay? I don’t know if she was always like that, or if it’s somehow my fault, or August’s, and frankly, I don’t care. She is horrible to me, and I don’t want her in my life, and neither does she. And Lily is _dead_ , and Luna is…” Toby tried to take a breath that somehow turned into a sob. “I don’t know if Luna is _ever_ going to love me again. I know that sounds dramatic, but after everything… I see more chance of getting on with _Rayseline_ than her at this point, and I hate it. I know I failed her, but I still… I still…”

The Luidaeg sighed and pulled her closer, and Toby put her head on her Aunt’s shoulder and cried. It was the cry of a brokenhearted little girl who realized the love of some people was conditional, and she had failed to live up to the conditions.

“I’m with you,” the Luidaeg whispered into her hair. “You should know that by now. I shouldn’t have gotten attached, but I did a pretty shit job, didn’t I? I won’t say I’ll never betray you, because that is a promise nobody should make, and I can’t make false promises. But I will not stop loving you. Whoever I am will always love whoever you are. That is a promise.”

Toby’s fingers dug into her side, and the first daughter of Maeve held her sobbing niece in her arms, and when the salty tears rolled down her own cheeks, she didn’t stop them.


End file.
